Aging isn’t graceful. It isn’t wise. It isn’t dignified.
It’s hilarious.
From Michelle Ward, author of the Cheap Therapy series, comes the ultimate survival guide for men who are discovering that their bodies now sound like bubble wrap, their mornings feel like crime scenes, and their testicles are auditioning for a bungee-jump.
Inside, you’ll discover:
Why socks have become an Olympic event.
The truth about sneezes that feel like seismic activity.
Bathroom trips that last longer than TV episodes.
The betrayal of bald spots, ear hair, and rogue eyebrows.
The medical circus of endless tests, gowns, and prostate exams.
Why passion now requires a warm-up, a pill, and an ice pack.
Grandkids who expose every flaw in public, loudly.
And the daily humiliation of technology, passwords, and Alexa.
Brutally honest, wildly funny, and guaranteed to make every man over 50 nod in painful recognition, this book proves you’re not alone: every guy you know is falling apart too. And the only cure? Laugh about it.
Whether you’re buying it for your dad, husband, grandpa, or yourself, Everything Hurts and I’m Dying is the perfect cheap therapy gift for:
Father’s Day — because nothing says “I love you” like laughing at your dad’s creaky knees.
Birthdays — especially the milestone ones that come with more candles than cake.
Christmas & Holidays — the ultimate stocking stuffer for the man who already has everything… except functioning knees.
Gag Gifts & Retirement Parties — because laughter lasts longer than hairlines.
Life may be a collapsing shed behind a Walmart, but at least it’s still standing — and it’s still funny
Reviews
If you've ever groaned just standing up, this book is for you. Michelle Ward is fearless in her honesty and brilliant in her delivery. Equal parts cringe and cackle, it's the funniest take on male aging since anyone dared to admit bald spots are basically personality traits.
Finally, a survival guide for men that doesn't pretend aging is noble or wise � it's flat-out ridiculous, and Ward nails it. From sneeze disasters to bathroom sagas, she turns the painful truths of getting older into comedy gold. A must-buy for Father's Day and beyond."
Ward has a talent for making the uncomfortable hilarious. She doesn't just describe the indignities of aging � she celebrates them with wit sharp enough to cut through a hospital gown. It's both a gag gift and a genuinely relatable read.